I. AM. FULL.

First of all… I am full of carrot cupcakes. (Thank you Kathy Powers and staff and Preston for my birthday cupcakes!)

But what I really mean is…. My heart is full.

From driving up and seeing the big “Welcome” sign out in front of my new church, to the hundreds of hours being put in to renovate the parsonage, to the smiles of the staff and the “Hey, I know you!” hollered at me from one of the children in the daycare... these first few weeks at Aurora United Methodist Church have been totally amazing… waaaaay beyond any hopes or expectations.  The church has been so gracious and welcoming.  I already see them making some changes that will promote spiritual and emotional growth in our church family… primarily by including the children and youth more.  I appreciate how they are being open to change and creativity and “NEW”.  All of this gives me hope.  It gives me hope for our time together, and it gives me hope for Aurora UMC, and it gives me hope for Algiers.  I want nothing more from my time at Aurora UMC than to use my gifts and talents to help the church turn a corner toward health and wholeness (spiritually, physically and emotionally) in our lives as individuals and as a church.  So, the welcome, hospitality and openness to me are so encouraging, and fill me up.

I am also full of gratefulness to God. … because it is almost like God is putting on an Epcot Fireworks display in my life… you know the one… that last 15 minutes of absolutely everything they’ve got in the warehouse and every SINGLE laser and Disney character and music perfectly timed to the choreographed explosions.  I’ve got this great new church, with all KINDS of promise… a lovely, committed, hard-working staff... my son is pursuing his dreams in a school that could not be more perfect for him… I am raising the little girl that I’ve always dreamt of (SOOOO COOL… still wondering about the timing, as I turn 54, but God’s timing is perfect!)… I live in New Orleans… God is helping me improve my health day by day (so, no more cupcakes for a while!)… my relationships with my family are all great… I am finally discovering my biological family and meeting them and feeling soooooo grounded and complete and, well, full.  Full of love… full of gratefulness… full of humble disbelief… full of laughter and joy… full of hope.  It is good.  God is good!  So I say: 

I.  am.  full.                I hope you and yours are too!  If not… let’s work on that!

Baby Sister

I was 5-1/2, sitting on the step under the phone, waiting for "the call" announcing the birth of my baby sister.  No matter what anyone else said, I WAS getting a baby sister that day!  I had packed together a little basket of toys for her... a doll with bottle, some fake food from our playroom kitchen, a little blanket, some Fisher Price people and farm animals... I was ready for my baby sister.
And the call came!
She was mine from the first minute.  If she made the smallest sound in the night, I was there, reaching my little arm through the slats on the baby bed to put her "paci" back in her mouth or pat her little back.  I still remember well those big brown eyes of hers, staring back at me over her pacifier.  We were bonded together.  I would fall asleep in the rocking chair next to her bed, refusing to leave until she was asleep.
Through the years, there were very few things that I would do that did not welcome or involve my baby sister.  She was there for all my adventures.
She could run like the wind, and dance and flip. She still can do a herkie... I have proof.  She can still remember every word of all kinds of obscure songs and all the popular ones.  She makes up great songs, too.  She's smart and funny, insanely organized and capable, and is a wonderful mom.  When we are together, tears and sore bellies are always an indicator of our silly, uncontrollable laughter over the simplest of things seen or said... in stores, while driving, in church, it doesn't matter. Something will spontaneously erupt between us at some point, and I LOVE it!
She believes in me, and I in her.  She lets me share my insanity, and graciously allows me to be there for her when she is experiencing moments of weakness.  She has produced two little humans that have my heart and delight my life.
She is my sister.  She is my friend.  She is an amazing, wonderful person.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNIE!!  I love you!

Weeds in the Seeds

Here are my recent rambling thoughts about the Parable of the Sower in Matthew 13... be ye forewarned that these are just unrefined, unedited ramblings!

"The Kingdom is like this…” When we hear that phrase, most of us assume, I think, that Jesus is talking about Heaven… life after death. But, I’m thinking there aren’t any weeds in Heaven. So, there must be some other understanding of “The Kingdom”. There is an understanding of “The Kingdom” that we have either forgotten, or not fully understood, or just are uncomfortable with: The Kingdom is NOW. Not that there isn’t a “Heaven” or a place with white, pearly gates and streets of gold (who knows?)… but that when we pray “Thy Kingdom come”… that is a present-tense, past-tense, and future-tense word that means that we are IN God’s Kingdom… God’s Creation IS God’s Kingdom. That being said, let’s hear this scripture from a “Present-tense” perspective:

We will not fully know, until the harvest, how many (or who) the weeds are that are growing right alongside our wheat. Do they diminish the harvest, or endanger it, ir just make more work in the end? Weeds will grow, just like the wheat. Evil will grow within us, just like good. We will have weeds and good fruit w/in us. We are often not even aware that those seeds are there… but they are. They do not come from God, but from “the enemy”. They do us no good, but instead cause us to have to do more work. We must pray and work to ensure that what weeds there are will not choke out the wheat. We must pray and work to ensure that the weeds do not affect the harvest of our souls. We must pray and work to ensure that the weeds do not overtake what we’ve sown.

Know that there will be seeds. We will not see 100% yields, probably. There will be some “bad” in with the good. But I suspect that you already know this. Thank goodness God is a gracious God, and knows the conditions of our WHOLE hearts.

And if talking about our hearts…we need to know that what’s in there is gonna come out… and many times… most of the time… it comes out when we are not expecting, or are not in total control… often that means it doesn’t come out until we get in committed deep relationships, and get bumped up against. Know that the true condition of your heart is most evident when you let others IN.

Solomon tells us that everything we do flows from what lies in our hearts… and he tells us to guard our hearts. Remember that this Hebrew use of the word that we translate as “guard” does not mean to lock it behind a wall and throw away the key. I’ll say that again… the wisest man who ever lived is NOT NOT NOT telling us to lock up our hearts behind a fortress and throw away the key. NO! He is telling us to watch, oversee, and take care of our hearts.

Last week, when Alex was here, we went to the Cool Zoo (splash park at the zoo) and in order to let her have fun and play and BE the kid she is, I had to let go of her hand and let her run around. Mind you, I was watching her like a Mama Bear, ever ready to run to her aid and protect her… but I had to let her be free… yet remain in my watchful care.

This is the “guarding” I think Solomon means when he tells us to guard our hearts. We must let it be free to feel and become engaged in relationships. But we must also watch it… pay attention to it… and guard it against evil.

Proverbs 4:23 … above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

As we pay attention… pay attention to our actions, because they reveal the truth of what is in our hearts… seeds AND weeds. THERE WILL BE WEEDS. And so, our words and actions will not always be “right” and “Godly”… but if we are watching and caring for the health of our hearts, then the weeds in the seeds will be fewer, OR they will not take root, OR they will not grow to bear fruit.

Our actions flow from our hearts. So know that if our hearts are not in good shape, we are going to have trouble in our relationships. Pay attention to what is in your heart. The healthier our heart, the fewer weeds will spring up.

It’s like a healthy lawn. The specialists will tell you that the healthier your lawn is, the less chance there is that weeds will grow, and overtake it. So the first thing they tell you to do is to care for the lawn and make sure it is strong and healthy.

GUARD YOUR HEART… CARE FOR YOUR HEART… make sure it is strong and healthy. Know what is really going on in there…

1) THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE FEELING BEFORE YOU SPEAK. (name it!)

Frustrated Angry Happy Scared Left out Embarrassed Unappreciated Ugly Unlovable Failure Old Stupid Lonely Abandoned Scared Out of control Betrayed Picked on Jealous Disrespected Insecure

As long as our feelings are kept “secret”, they have POWER.

2) BEGIN TO ASK WHY YOU ARE FEELING THIS AT THAT TIME!

Most of what we are feeling has nothing to do w/what the OTHER person is doing… we bring those things WITH us into the relationship.

Identify and SAY IT OUT LOUD. When you name it, it begins to lose its power… but we also lose our excuse.

“I’m so glad you told me.” (and then button up… don’t fuss, don’t try to fix)

Healthy people QUIT doing whatever it is, once they find out it is hurting someone else… especially someone they love.

So … if we understand that THE KINGDOM IS NOW… and it is like this… farmer sows the seeds, and while he sleeps, the enemy comes and sows weeds over the wheat… and those seeds grow right along with the wheat, some making it all the way to the harvest…

Know that your hearts have weeds… we all have weeds in our hearts… and some grow strong. KNOW that. CLAIM that. OWN that. But take care. GUARD your hearts. WATCH what you say and do, and UNDERSTAND that those are true indicators of the health of your heart. ASK why you feel and act certain ways. And seek guidance and counsel from the TRUE GARDENER about how to address the weeds. Some of them the MASTER GARDENER HIMSELF will take care of at the harvest. Some of them we can pull early on. And with watchful, diligent care, we can minimize more weeds from being sown and taking root. Yes… there are weeds in all our seeds… but thanks be to God, we are not without hope and a plan!

NEW...

Wow... we've moved. We are in a new place, a new home, new churches, a new culture, a slightly different climate, with new people with different accents & expressions. It's weird... and exciting!

The weird part is that it is all very different... and will take some getting used to. I always say, though, that it's not change that we fear. The thing we fear is change that wasn't our idea. Technically, this change was our idea, in that we said we were open to a change. And BAM... here we are. The unknown is a bit scarey, but if we are anchored and grounded, everything around us can change, and we can still thrive. At least, that's the way we believe it works. I have dreams of what CAN be, but can I make those dreams come to fruition?

The exciting part is that it is all very different... and we can make it all good with a positive attitude that embraces the change. We can re-create ourselves, our home, our ministries, our day-to-day lives, our routines, our "norm"! How exciting is that? God is always creating and re-creating. Why would we ever think that pattern is not intended for us? And if we remember that God said it was all GOOD, then why do we fear change? Why WOULDN'T we believe that the new will be GOOD?

So, that's what we're counting on. What about you? What changes are you encountering in your life? Are you embracing them? Or are you pretending it's not happening? Are you digging in your heels and refusing the change? Ever think about what blessings you are shortchanging yourself on, by NOT embracing the change? Something to think about, eh?

See you in church?

From a Manger to a Throne

Well ... yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause. Actually, no ... but there is a God who knows every one of us, knows our pain and our heartache, and sits with us, and breathes life back into our grieving, hopeless hearts. I preached to myself again tonight. If Jesus can go from a smelly, dirty manger to a King, victorious even over death ... and that same power is available to me ... I can surely rise from any unhappy place (not matter how smelly, disgusting, pitiful) to claim (really, for the 1st time) my place as an heir to the Kingdom... a princess ... beautiful and holy.

Last year, Christmas for me was about just simply surviving. This year, it is about RE-viving. I can feel the new thing God is doing. I really can. I must claim my glory. And you must, too. Our value and worth AND our happiness is NOT ... IS NOT!!... dependent on anyone around us, but is dependent on who is within us!

I used the lectionary reading from Titus tonite ... and it talks about how Jesus came to give us the power to say "No" to the things of this world that are not righteous and of God ... and to claim the holiness that God has for us, as his children and heirs. God has always been there for his children. He was there with Mary, experiencing whatever fear she may have had, and whatever judgement that fell on her as an unwed mother. He was there with Joseph when he made the choice to stick by Mary, and no doubt endured his share of derision. God has been there all along, and He is here for you and me today.

So tonite ... I am claiming my holiness. And I am claiming the physical transformation into a princess of God's own Kingdom!

This year, may you claim your place as an heir to the throne. I'll pray for and encourage you. Will you do the same for me?

Grace and Peace to you,

Beth

I am SECOND!

I am Second!

What place are you? I am shooting for second place! NOT!

The first trophy I ever got was for placing 2nd in the Ruston Peach Festival Bicycle race. I was NOT happy to be in 2nd place, I’ll tell you. I was riding my sparkly purple bike with a psychedelic “flower power” banana seat and those handle bar streamers. Even those streamers were sparkly! That was an amazing bicycle! And I was amazing ON the bicycle! Have you ever been in a competition in which you were in the lead until the very last minute? Just when you think you’re going to pull off the victory, ZOOM!, someone else powers past you? Yeah. That was my story. I was pumping my little legs, and was ahead of the pack until the very last few yards, and this girl on a fancy-smancy 10-speed bike zoomed past to take the coveted 1st place trophy. I went right home and started making plans to get a 10-speed. So much for beauty. I was in it for SPEED now! I wanted to be NUMBER ONE!!!

I’ve been thinking this week about being 2nd. Who wants to be SECOND? Well, after thinking about this, and praying even, I’ve decided that it would be best if I were just that: SECOND… or maybe even further down the line. What would our lives be like… how would our lives be different if we all decided to be 2nd? What I mean by this is: What would our lives be like… how would our lives be different if Jesus Christ were always No. 1?
Can you imagine your daily schedule? How much time would you spend in prayer? How much time would you spend reading and studying scripture? Would you join a Sunday School class? Or maybe regularly attend a Bible Study? Or ALWAYS go to worship services on the Sabbath? Would you be God’ “Yes Man”… always saying “yes” to God, no matter what and no matter when? Would you honor your tithe before that credit card? Would you raise your children differently? Would you have a different work ethic? Would your daily life be filled with compassion and deliberate efforts to bless others?

Okay, I give up… I WANT TO BE SECOND!!! How about you?

“Catholic Spirit”

“If your heart be as mine, then take my hand.”

from “Catholic Spirit”, a sermon by John Wesley

This is one of my favorite quotes EVER. The quote is actually from 2 Kings 10:15, and reads this way in Wesley’s translation:
“Is thine heart right, as my heart is with thy heart? … If it be, give me thine hand.”

The sermon was a response to questions being asked about differences between Catholicism and Protestantism, or specifically between the Roman Catholic Church and The Church of England. In Wesley’s day, without today’s forms of media, the “Larry King Show” and “Bill O’Reilly” were played out in pamphlets published and handed out on street corners, and sermons delivered in churches, and, in Wesley’s case, out in fields or standing in the town square. or on a tombstone even.
These kinds of questions and arguments, while invigorating, frustrated Wesley quite a bit, because it really was a waste of time and energy. Wesley wanted to focus on our scriptural understanding of God, and our lives with God, as modeled and taught by Jesus Christ. Wesley thought, as do I, that we will all have differences in opinion, which invariably lead to differences in how we prefer to worship, or in our doctrine, but these kinds of differences are inconsequential in relation to the living of our salvation. These differences should not get in the way of our love for one another, and our unity in Christ Jesus. I love how Wesley explains this point. He says the scripture does not mean to “be of my opinion” or to “embrace my modes of worship”, but it does mean “first, love me”. He goes on to describe beautifully what kind of love this is. It is not a love that simply tolerates, but is a love that is tender and kind, compassionate and patient. It is a love that encourages and inspires, that “covereth all things; that never reveals either my faults or infirmities, --that believeth all things; is always willing to think the best, to put the fairest construction on all my words and actions.” Isn’t that beautiful?
I’ve been preaching this Summer on 2 Samuel, and the stories of David coming into his kingship, and his life as king. I’ve been highlighting the relationship David had with Nathan, and will really focus on that this next Sunday. Nathan plays a remarkable role in David’s life, not because he agrees with David about everything, but because he disagrees sometimes, and he is not silent. Even so, the love and respect David and Nathan share, allows for the sharing of frank honesty, without schism. The key to this relationship, is their devotion to God. Both of them hear and are convicted by God. They are joined at the heart because their hearts are united in God, and therefore, they join hands in the living of their days. What a glorious model of relationships. I’ll explore this more in coming weeks, so...

See you at church!